*dusts off keyboard*

What’s up my dudes.

Waaazzuup

Hi again. Glad to have that out of the way. 

If there were rumours, this is where we’d confirm that they are indeed true. We’re back – kind of. The least anticipated comeback is officially here. We’re not dead… just too old to confidently self-identify as bloggers. 

Anyways, the show much go on! Welcome to the RLGT Awards, 2020.

The RLGT Awards: Best of the Half-Decade

As voted on by The Academeh: Carly Weiler, Cam Hache, Ray Diep, Gurnoor Aujla, Husson Zaman, Negele Hospedales & Thomas Johnson

Half-decades are important.

I came to this realization a couple months ago when I turned five half-decades old. Tracking the progression of your life year-to-year can often be limiting and unnecessarily high-pressured, and contrastingly, tracing back the progression of your life over the entirety of a complete decade will quickly leave you losing track of time.

Five years is the sweet spot.

Five years is just enough time in order to reflect on all of the meaningful goals that you’ve carefully arranged for yourself in the exhausting pursuit of becoming the person you imagine you’re supposed to be. It’s enough time to rejoice in the triumphs, and it’s enough time to aptly absorb the lessons that are produced by the numerous missteps along the way.

But maybe what’s most important is that five years is a meaningfully insignificant amount of time and it allows you to keep your idiosyncratic identity intact. When you track your personal (or societal, for that matter) progression in five-year increments—it’s the perfect amount of time to pay your respects to the unwavering stimuli that continue to subsist amongst the ocean of fluctuating uncertainties.

This past half-decade—two of the most significant unwavering stimuli in my life, just so happened to collide (Editors Note: …and no, he’s not just talking about the Husson & Negele dream-team). Kids See Ghosts came into fruition and an entire generation rejoiced.

In 2015 a collaborative effort from Kanye West and Kid Cudi seemed like a cold, improbable fiction. The two musical icons were in the midst of highly-publicized fracas, not only amongst one another, but each of them were individually battling a persistent struggle taking place within their own marvellous minds.

Kids See Ghosts came to us shortly following Cudi’s departure from rehab and in the midst of Ye’s public battle with bipolar disorder.

It was two old friends (once again) fusing their deeply interconnected energies in the most delicate of circumstances, and this fusion served as the single most significant collaborative musical moment of last half-decade.

Kids See Ghosts was merriment of childlike fearlessness. It celebrated the elusive art of detachment from the constant flow demons that life presents us with. It highlighted how the power of positivity is most effective through the lens of honestly and co-operation.

It was a modern-day mental health awareness message for the kids that never believed in the consequence of mental health from the get-go.

Kids See Ghosts was a seven-song, 23-minute excursion of the intricate mind. The opening track, ‘Feel the Love,’ was a glorious riposte to universal pessimism, and featured a boisterous reminder from a self-admitted rehab attendee that came out from the other side to feel the love that surrounds you every day.

‘Freeee (Ghost Town Pt.2,)’ features a stirring hook-performance from Ty Dolla $ign, that some-how fittingly complimented a back-and-forth scream-therapy session between Cudi and Ye—a beautiful exemplification of how to find the beauty elegantly situated within a constant state of chaos.

‘Reborn’ was an anthem that demonstrated the meaningful influence behind simplicity and repetition.

Kids See Ghosts was the collaboration that we so intensely wanted but never truly understood that we genuinely needed.

As the end of the decade approaches, and I search for a nearby vehicle to help me re-trace the last five years of my life—this album will be the first thing I find in reaching distance.

Kids See Ghosts was a reflection, it was a reminder, it was a celebration, and it was recognition of self-worth.

BEST COLLABORATION OR DUO

by Husson Zaman

Nominees: Action Bronson & Body (music and TV), Ghetto Sage (Smino, Saba and Noname – or any pair of the set), Kids See Ghosts, Madlib and Freddie Gibbs, Black Hippy, and Alchemist with [take your pick]

Winner: Kanye West & Kid Cudi, Kids See Ghosts

So, what else defined the half-decade? RLGT has brought back 7 of its OG writers for the official (beware of knockoffs) 2020 RLGT half-decade awards. We’ll be jumping into 9 other categories and breaking down some of the best and worst moments of 2015 to 2019, as recorded by the original Canadian tastemakers themselves.

*full-body cringe*
*deep breath*

Lets get into it!

Best 5-Year Catalogue

by Thomas Johnson aka fatherdondusty

Nominees: Mac Miller (GO:OD AM, Divine Feminine, Swimming), Travis Scott (Rodeo, BITTSM, Astroworld, Huncho Jack, JACK BOYS), Bas (Too High To Riot, Milky Way, ROTD 2 & 3, Spilled Milk EP), Tyler, the Creator (Cherry Bomb, Flower Boy, IGOR), Kanye West (The Life of Pablo, Ye, Jesus Is King, Jesus is Born, plus his productions), Young Thug (Barter 6, I’m Up, Slime Season 3. Jeffery, Super Slimey, Beautiful Thugger Girls, So Much Fun), Tierra Whack (Whack World + singles), Freddie Gibbs (Shadow Of A Doubt, You Only Live 2wice, Freddie, Fetti, Bandana)

Winner: Tyler, The Creator (Cherry Bomb, Flower Boy, IGOR)

Deciding the half-decade’s best catalogue is a simple philosophical debate: What do you expect from X-artist? 

If you dig culture-shock, then the best argument could probably be made for Kanye’s manic output since TLOP; you could also probably choose Kanye on pure production value. If consistency is your thing, the fact that Freddie Gibbs has been out-rapping everyone’s ass since the Adidas tracksuit renaissance will be your flavor. Sales and streams for your bum-ass? Travis and Aubrey. Wild experiments disguised? Thugger.

But if we’re measuring the ‘best’ catalogue as some type of aggregate of the afore-mentioned qualifiers — and we are, because I wrote this post and that’s the metric I chose to use, talk to Hosp if you don’t vibe, stupid — the ‘best,’ most complete catalogue of the half-decade is Tyler, The Creator’s. 

Cherry Bomb is about as polarizing as a forgettable album can be. One of its alternate covers was a pair of fresh-pissed pants. Hardcore, man. Lots of people hated it, more people loved it, nearly everyone loses it in the trove of Tyler’s other albums. But it’s quietly one of the most crucial albums in the development of one of the ‘10s most crucial polymaths — which is ironic cuz it’s loud as shit. The obnoxious noise, uneven structure, ALLCAPS scattershot ideas and all-around What-The-Fuckery wrapped up Tyler’s first era, where he was eating cockroaches in colourful socks, and transitioned him into the pastel and bob phase he’s in now. Cherry Bomb sent off the immature artist by clearing him of all his artistic immaturity, siphoning all Tyler’s whacked-out ideas and smushing them into a jumble of songs that still defy categorization. He’s rapping over guitars, but it’s definitely a punk album. It’s a goddamn mess that meddles in superfluidity and self-indulgence, and we’re all better for it. 

Flower Boy found Tyler finding himself in open space, smelling the roses. Gone were the condescend schemes, half-baked bombshell and shock-jock attitude. Scum Fuck Flower Boy, — say it’s name — is Tyler’s moment of transcendence, one every icon undergoes as they ascend their genre. The songs that comprise Flower Boy couldn’t have been made by a rapper. The Creator when from bars to boleros, bowel movements to full-blown orchestral suites. He began finally tapping into the sonic potential displayed as early as Bastard, but tuned to the ear of a master who’s earned his reps. He played with rap’s fine-lines like silly string, and webbed together this beautiful, ugly, sensual, staggeringly emotive project that negotiated a hard-sought middle ground between the colorful extremes Tyler’s career has embodied since he introduced himself to us in stark black and white. 

And IGOR found that medium. It’s the best album The Neptunes never made. Tyler, became his idol. It’s perfect, and you know it is. Go listen to “EARFQUAKE” and take a ride; listen to “Boy Is A Gun,” and think about how brilliant and audacious he is to choose the “Bound 2” sample and not even reference Kanye. Quit wearing socks, dummy. Tyler, The Creator had the best catalogue of the decade. Wear more easter colors. Buy a wig.

BEST EARLY RLGT CO-SIGN

by Negele Hospedales

Nominees: Jarreau Vandal, Dreamer Boy aka Zach Taylor, K-Riz, Milan Ring, Kehlani, Jake Crocker, Miles Canady, J-Soul

Winner: Dreamer Boy

This is probably the category that I’m the proudest of. Since the beginning, RLGT has always been about not only disseminating the big news but also showcasing the underdogs and predicting what’s next (you know, that whole “be a tastemaker, not a taste-tester” thing).

First, there was RLGT Up-Next, which was an in-depth look at some of our favourite up and coming artists who were doing big things – this saw us write about the likes of J-Soul, Milan Ring, Pell, Yonas and more. Then there was RLGT Premieres, where we were the FIRST outlets to cover new music from artists ranging from Jarreau Vandal and Cartoon Ben, to Zach Taylor (better known as Dreamer Boy) and Miles Canady.

In 2016, The Showcase was introduced and we threw artists who submitted music to us into an all-out gauntlet where fans could vote up to once a day for a week to see who would emerge as the best of the month. Tope, Landon Sears, TooZy, Raz Simone, Lofsky, SUUNS and Cellus Hamilton were just a few of the talented submissions to show out in The Showcase. Later in 2016, Carly joined the team and Local Spotlight was born; Sitting down with various artists across Western Canada, Carly would go on to interview an extensive list that included K-Riz, Mitchmatic, DJ Bradley James, and Faith Healer to uncover the story behind each of their unique journeys.

While all of these artists are winners in their own right, there can only be one, and nobody fits the description of somebody who RLGT believed in early, while also returning the belief, quite like Dreamer Boy – formerly known as Zach Taylor. First gracing our webpages back in June 2015 for his Soul Rap mixtape, Taylor was introduced to via our email submission box; we would go on to feature three more of his tracks and premiere one (possibly a record for one artist on RLGT), and even threw him into the Showcase gauntlet for “Space Jam”. Of his 2016 track “Vacation”, we described it as “an escapists dream, “Vacation” features Soulection smooth vibes courtesy of Samurai Del, and an intoxicatingly simple hook that’ll have you singing and snapping along by the second stanza”.

Sometime in late 2018, a new psedonym emerged and “Dreamer Boy” was born. Now, pent up in an old 2-story house in Nashville together with his bandmate –  Bob, his creative lead – Adam, and his manager – Clark, the storyline began to shift, while the art continued to elevate. One demo later, Dreamer Boy unleased “Falling For The Wrong One” and he was officially off to the races. Immediately a fan favourite, the track has done over 4 million streams on Spotify alone.

Fast-forward to the end of 2019 and Dreamer Boy’s debut Love, Nostalgia has ammased millions of streams, and he’s just finished a 14-date Europe tour accompanying teen-superstar Clairo. While it seems like everything has changed during the transition from Zach Taylor to Dreamer Boy, the intention hasn’t. Don’t believe me? Here’s a quote from Taylor back in our 2016 premiere of “Vacation”:

“I really want the kids to get out of their heads and just relax with this song… Like [even] I’ve been so pent up in school and stressed out, that sometimes you forget to just count your blessings and live”

BEST MUSIC VIDEO

by Cam Hache

Nominees: “Down On My Luck” by Vic Mensa, “Carpet Burn” by DaBaby (in conjunction with the actual viral fight video), “Coronus the Terminator” by Flying Lotus, “This Is America” by Childish Gambino, “Humble” by Kendrick Lamar, “Numb Numb Juice” by ScHoolboy Q, “Casio” by Jungle

Winner: “Humble” by Kendrick Lamar

Music videos have seen a significant revival over the past half-decade. More than ever, I’m finding myself eagerly anticipating the next visual release from my favourite artists, excited to see what they come up with next. Music videos have the ability to elevate an artist’s music, giving them further creative freedom to provide the imagery to accompany their lyrics. This is one thing, among many, many other things, that Kendrick Lamar can execute with excellence – and no visual embodies this quite like “Humble”.

“Humble” is simply Kendrick’s greatest humblebrag; a fresh reminder just two years after the release of his wildly successful third studio album To Pimp a Butterfly, that he is still the greatest artist in the game. It properly served as a warning call to his counterparts that the God of Rap had returned, quite literally. “Humble” was a fascinating departure from his past jazz-infused project, as instead, Lamar took the risk to craft something with admittedly more of a mainstream appeal. Looking back on it, the risk certainly paid off as the single promptly rose to the top of the charts.

The video for “Humble” is, by all means, cinematic. Released along with the audio, the visuals itself are brimming with energy. There’s no room to breathe as if the video demands more than one watch to truly soak everything in. Each set-piece is well-crafted and exhaustively produced, directed by music video genius David Meyers & The Little Homies (a visual alias for Kendrick Lamar & TDE president Dave Free). “Humble” begins with Kendrick standing alone in an empty cathedral dressed as a priest, before escorting us into a world of religious imagery and extravagant urban culture. It stands on a steady foundation of impressive camera tricks, enticing scenarios, and Kendrick himself acting in an array of different roles. My favourite moment has to lie somewhere between TDE’s re-enactment of Leonardo Da Vinci’s infamous The Last Supper or Kendrick spitting fire while his head is literally ablaze. As with his many of his other videos, each frame seems to be critical & there with specific intent as if removing it would impact the whole of the piece. Overall, it’s clever & inventive, further echoing his message within the song – if other artists are gunning for his crown they truly need to step up their game. 

Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN. era of music videos were arguably the most consistent, thought-out visuals to have accompanied a project in the past five years. Each was equally as ambitious and as captivating as the last, perfectly exemplifying the meticulous precision the project itself had. Tracks such as “DNA”, “Element”, & “Love” are all standout hits that likewise had instantly iconic videos with correlating themes, tying the album together. However, “Humble” was the one that kicked it all off with a bang. With new music on the horizon next year, I am stoked to see what he’ll come up with next.

HARDEST FALL FROM GRACE

by Carly Weiler

Nominees: Drake (IYRTITL to Views & Scorpion), Chance the Rapper, the entire Chicago scene (Chance, Vic, SAVEMONEY, Towkio, Rockie Fresh, Durk, R-Kelly), The journalism industry, Tay-K, Tekashi 6ix9ine

Winner (/loser?): Tekashi 6ix9ine. Duh.

Throughout the last half of this decade, we’ve seen a number of hip-hop artists come in strong, only to sputter out and lose their momentum. For example, in 2015 Drake released If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late, which exploded and arrived without any warning – a wonderful surprise. Unfortunately, his proceeding albums, Views and Scorpion, had nothing much to add aside from taking up too much space on your phone thanks to the 41 songs between the two of them. Another example of an unfortunate downfall is the slow demise of Chance the Rapper, sinking deeper and deeper into his own corniness with every attempted stream of The Big Day. But out of everything that did happen from 2015-2020, the award for perhaps one of the fastest turn-around times from success to failure goes to none other than Mr. 69 himself – Tekashi.

(Before I go into a little background about his surprising popularity, I need to address something first. At what point, as a society, did we decide that someone with the number 69 tattooed on his face (and over 200 other spots on his body) was “cool”? Did his inspiration come from falling asleep first at a sleepover? Perhaps we will never know – and perhaps it’s better that way.)

Tekashi 6ix9ine is one of many young rappers who were/are a part of this new wave of rap that draws inspiration from the “emo music” that we used to listen to in Junior High (yes, you did). His influences come from the hardcore and punk scenes, and he came up in the Soundcloud wave of artists that took over air pods worldwide by storm. If you put the names Tekashi, Lil Pump, Lil Peep (RIP), and Trippie Redd into Google, you will see a consistent image of coloured hair, face tattoos, and a brooding persona.

In 2018, Tekashi released his first studio album, Dummy Boy, and first official mixtape, Day69 – the prior of which found itself at number 2 on the Billboard charts. As a “certified” internet troll, Tekashi rose in popularity more from his ability to mock and antagonize other artists on the internet than through his music – people loved how sensational he was, and the media loved how easy it was to make him their next clickbait article. I mean, the man has physical and sexual assault charges with a minor, faked his own death, and openly admitted that he does not take making music seriously, and yet his popularity continued to rise. I suppose in today’s world this makes sense, as we are seeing the same kind of sensationalized publicity from US President Donald Trump – we tend to put the most emphasis on the stories and people that shock us, regardless of how horrific their background or values may be.

Now, I could go on about the details of the various charges, court dates, and plea deals that Tekashi has accumulated from 2018-present, but I want to focus on the main one; in November of 2018, Tekashi is arrested, along with 5 other members of the Nine Trey Gangsta Bloods – the gang that he is affiliated with – on federal racketeering and firearms charges. In interviews, Tekashi has been known to tote that he “ain’t no snitch” – I mean, we all know snitches get stitches, and for someone with his knack for pissing people off, I would hope he stands by this. Yet for some reason, during his trial in January 2019, Tekashi becomes the authorities’ biggest asset – implicating other members of the notorious gang and outing other artists who may be involved – and the internet’s biggest meme.

As easy as it was for Tekashi to blow-up his internet persona in the early years of his career through obscure and over the top content, it wasn’t until he began spilling the beans on the Nine Trey gang that he really got the world’s attention. Though he has now claimed that he is not interested in taking the Witness Protection Program offer as he plans on getting back to his music, will we every be able to take him seriously again? How does one come back into the rap world after being known as the guy who would snitch on literally anyone and anything? Sources say – you probably don’t. As quoted by one of the lawyers on a Nine Trey member’s case – “you can’t pick and choose when to be a gangster”.

FUNNIEST BEEF

by Thomas Johnson

Nomineees: The entire industry vs. Ebro (6ix9ine, 50 Cent, Kanye, Kodak Black), Drake vs. Pusha T, Kanye vs. Wiz, Skepta vs. Wiley, 50 Cent vs. Mayweather, Kid Cudi vs. Drake (“Say it to my face p*ssy!”), Nicki Minaj vs… everybody

Winner: Honestly, any feud involving Drake has been unmatched.

Let’s take a look at the boy’s record:

Ludacris: Called Drake a ‘counterfeit rapper,’ in 2010. Drake reportedly “apologized to him like a man” in 2015, which sets the trend for the next five years.

Verdict: Drake apologized in a rap beef. TKO.

Meek Mill: This had to have been the worst beef of all time. Nobody won, and everyone who tuned in lost. What a waste. And “Back to Back” was trash (Editors note: HOOOOOT TAKE).

Verdict: Both contestants tripped walking into the ring and were knocked out cold and bled profusely all over their Sunday-whites. Double TKO.

Kid Cudi: Drake clowned Kid Cudi for having depression in 2016. Kid Cudi responded with an instantly iconic, since-deleted tweet: “say it to my face, pussy”

Verdict: Twitter fingers to TKO. 

Kendrick Lamar: This is the Cold War of rap beefs. I don’t know who would be the Soviets and who would be the Americans because I know Lamar would be the one to drop the bomb, but I also know Drakes all about that vodka-cran lifestyle.

Verdict: Inconclusive. 

Pusha T: I’m going to share a link to a soundbite of an injured baby zebra being mauled in the water by a 2000lb crocodile on a diet:

Verdict: I heard after this Drake started walking around in Club Monaco slacks with a visible white-chalk outline. Two TKO’s, and the best diss of the century (Editors Note 2.0: THE HOT TAKES ARE HEEEEEATING UP). 

Kanye: Kanye got wrapped up in the kerfuffle during the Pusha feud (see below). Kanye never actually dissed Drake. Drake, however, threatened to totally own Kanye — which he could definitely do if he wants to, he just doesn’t. No movement on this one since. 

Verdict: Theoretical TKO. 

Diddy: “4pm In Calabasas” takes shots at Diddy, and I’m only mentioning it because Diddy smacked Drake upside the head in 2014.

Verdict: There’s a more than zero percent chance Diddy may have actually TKO’d Drizz.

*Bonus: In 2013 Common called Drake ‘Canada Dry.’ 

Verdict: TKO, +1 delicious soda pop. 

BEST BEAT SWITCH

by Raymond Diep #raytoriches

Nominees: “Broke as F*ck” by YBN Cordae, “9-24-11” by Action Bronson, “Use This Gospel” by Kanye West, “Never” by JID, “Nights” by Frank Ocean, “Fake Names” by Freddie Gibbs & Madlib, “Sicko Mode” by Travis Scott

Winner: Nights by Frank the Tank

Truthfully, when I first got assigned this topic, I couldn’t help but think of the song “Switch”… not by 6lack, but by the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (Will Smith). It doesn’t even have a beat switch but I just couldn’t help but share this 09′ classic to y’all.

What makes a good beat switch? What is it the purpose it serves? Is it the transition? Does it complete the story? Does it contrast? Does it bring clarity to different perspectives? The RLGT crew each chose a song to nominate, all for reasons that may be mentioned above or for a completely different reason. After some considerable deliberation (probably more like 2 listens of each song), one pairing stands above them all:

“Nights” starts off with a rap-heavy tempo with guitar riffs, introducing a story of the highs and lows of a relationship and loving a life connected by rough nights. As we approach the 3:30 mark, we see a transition period, similar to what he did with the song “Pyramids” on Channel Orange (EDITORS NOTE: possibly the best beat-switch of the previous half-decade). When the switch happens, the song goes into more of a somber and slow vibe that may serve as a parallel to the peaks and valleys, day and night, or sober and inebriated. Your choice.

The first thing that impressed me about this track is that it starts with the pitched voice in the second half. I mean let’s face it, Frank’s got an exquisite voice. But he chooses to adjust his voice higher to contrast the cadence. Those like Kanye West, Justin Vernon, T-Pain, Ocean, etc., take risks to manipulate their vocals so that they can fully express their artistry. In the case of Nights, Ocean injects this voice to possibly represent pain or heartbreak (similar vocal edits are seen in other places on the album Blonde: “Nikes”, “Ivy”, “Self Control” and “Futura Free”).

The second impressive portion is the chorus. It appears twice in the song, but each is represented in its own rendition, due to the beat switch. Each version of the chorus keeps in line with the themes of each part of the song showing a bright, upbeat, almost unapologetic sound to a emotional and wistful feel. The idea to express and invoke two completely different feelings by using the same set of lyrics exemplify Ocean’s intentions of the song and the album as a whole. 

To top it all off, the song is placed in the album, the beat switch actually happens at the exact halfway point of the album (minute 30 of 60 total). “Blonde” recurrently explores duality, with “Nights” obviously being a direct example but is pocketed throughout the project, making it the perfect exemplar. Without the beat-switch, not only would “Nights” be a fundamentally different song, but Blonde as we know it might be a fundamentally different piece of art as a whole.

BIGGEST LET DOWN

by Husson Zaman

Nominees: The Big Day, Alberta as a province, Every artist who didn’t show up for their set in a Canadian city, 4 Your Eyez Only, Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven

Winner (/loser?): Chance the Rapper’s debut ‘owbum’, The Big Day

The start of the half-decade saw Chance The Rapper become the biggest independent rapper on earth.

Coloring Book came out in 2016 and it was the third of three “mixtapes” released by the Chicago rapper—each of which pushed Chance further and further up the echelon of becoming Hip-Hop’s favorite son.

It was all there—The hallowed Kanye West co-sign, the archetypal underdog-story as the independent-rapper, the newfangled approach to faith and spirituality that had the power to drive Richard Dawkins to join your local church choir. And not to mention—the music was really, really good. It was as if Kanye West finally gave us Good Ass Job, without actually giving us Good Ass Job.

Coloring Book was a braggadociosly mindful rollercoaster. I quickly found myself looking back at the only stream-specific Grammy-award-winning album ever as the perfect middle ground between the audacious abrasiveness of The Life of Pablo and the rigorous concentration of Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly.

Chance The Rapper brought together an all-encompassing range of rap connoisseurs from every sphere imaginable.

It seemed as though the story was just beginning. The manet had been passed. The throne was for the taking. Dare I say—it looked like Chance’s big day was in the oh-so-near future?

His big day came. And then it went. And an entire awaiting fanbase let out a grand, all-encompassing sigh of disappointment.

The Big Day wasn’t a terrible album. There were dozens of albums that were released over the last five years that were objectively worse-sounding albums.

That’s almost what made it worse—if Chance had made his own version of Speedin Bullet 2 Heaven, we’d be able to look back at it today and think, “hey, well at least he tried, right?”

Truth of the matter is—we need the periodic grand-scale catastrophe. They make life that much more interesting, and they set the stage for a grand-scale revivification. Part of what made Kid Cudi’s crowning moments on Kids See Ghosts ascend to the atmosphere was the distant view of the fiery gorges that they ascended from.

(I’ll stop there before this becomes another Kid Cudi apologist public service announcement.)

The Big Day didn’t fail—but it was tedious. It was monotonous. It was completely inconsequential. It was a complete divergence of the response that Coloring Book epitomized. Chance’s ‘debut’ was the greatest celebration of 2016, and three years later, his big day passed us by without so much of trivial get-together.

BONUS: Volume 3 of “Why ____ Was Trash“

WORST TRENDS: WHY 2019 WAS TRASH

by Gurnoor Aujla, aka TooZy on the beat

Adam 22

Everyone’s favourite middle aged teenager. Dudes head is shaped like Humpty Dumpty. It would make sense if he was Benjamin Button, cuz he’d only be 20 and it would excuse his old guy appearance. Anyways, man is one of the most conceited people I’ve seen on YouTube. Never have I seen someone interview someone, and talk about themselves more than the interviewee. Dude loves talking about all the drugs he’s done and the sexual conquests he’s partaken in. If you frequent reddit he’s basically a walking r/ihavesex meme. At this point the people he interviews are just clout tokens he collects along with his kendamas. Mans also had this real cringe segment on his show. He’d ask fans to pay to promote their SoundCloud music. You’re some other worldly douchebag for taking someone’s money after having listened to some of their music, knowing that they have no chance of making it.

Chunky Filas

I wear the same sweatpants to school most of the time. I only change my shirts. My shirts are even only like a 3 day rotation. I think these shoes are ugly. My brief research on these monstrosities brings about a decorated past. Apparently they were a hipster staple in their early form. You wore them to show you didn’t conform to fashion norms. All of a sudden they blew up and a bunch of people decided they were mainstream. They lost the only piece of their identity and are now just ugly. The bottom looks like some teeth on a gear. If you wear these you probably don’t need to paint your room cause it’s just wall to wall Harry styles posters.

Nike Air Monarchs/Dad Shoes

Nike monarchs and dad shoes were two suggestions for the worst trends of the decade. Since they’re one in the same I decided to group them together Sheep is the word that comes to mind. The reason why these shoes are popular is because some fuckers decided they should be. They don’t look like anything special. They are a commentary on the feeble mind of a modern day consumer. You see drake or Russell Westbrook wearing something and its automatically hot shit. They don’t have the Midas touch. They are hella comfy though not gonna lie. Adidas sweatpants are comfy and those aren’t considered high fashion though so why should dad shoes.

Making Bloated Albums for Higher Stream Numbers

You could call this selling out. listening to migos culture 2 (26 or so songs) was like listening to the throwaways off culture 1 (13 songs). They made 13 decent songs on their first go at it. Then they decided they were gonna make the triplet Tarnation that was culture 2. Maybe it’s something to do with being signed to a label but I’ve never really seen indie artists having to put out watered down bullshit. You can’t make 13 dollars off one 8 song album anymore, you’re only making like 3 cents a stream on Spotify so as a label you want as many money sinks as possible. I might be completely wrong but that’s my interpretation of the situation.